did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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