I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She even gives head with a lisp.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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