we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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