Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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