Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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