The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
