I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
