I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
