Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
