Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
