I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize