Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
