I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize