We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
