He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
