Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
