We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize