I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
