remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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