thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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