god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
