Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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