dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
you had me at cake vodka
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
