You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
