I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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