I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize