I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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