i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
