shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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