We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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