I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Randomize
