Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
