How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
either way he was missing a nipple.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
