I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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