He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
