i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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