is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
As shirtless as possible
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
