and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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