i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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