Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
vagina is talking i cant
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
