OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
