you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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