Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Help. Why am I so naked?
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