Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
