woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
