My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
