Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
