I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
