I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
