Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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