I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
