you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
