Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
