So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
