So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
