I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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